“Michelle Obama shook hands with Saudi Arabia’s new king. What’s the big deal? Islamic law generally forbids men from touching unrelated women,” said CNN’s Facebook teaser.
Photo: CNN. (Fair use for comment.)
But in the actual CNN article, they finally got around to mentioning that First Lady Michelle Obama was more reserved and only shook hands when the man initiated the handshake, as is the Saudi custom. Furthermore, it was pointed out that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and German Counsellor Merkel have shaken hands with Saudi Arabian royalty, which is allowed for in diplomacy. Mrs. Obama did nothing wrong.
Then the article went on to point out that the president himself has received his share of criticism for “bowing” to the Saudis (except he wasn’t bowing, he was taller than the Saudi king and reaching to shake hands with both hands, he had to lean in) and bowing to a Japanese prime minister (it is a Japanese custom to show each other respect by bowing to each other).
The Darth Vader of American politics, Dick Cheney, fumed that American presidents should bow to no one. You see where American “guts and guns” got us in Iraq – trillions of dollars in debt and thousands of lives lost.
“American exceptionalism” gets it wrong
The idea of “American exceptionalism” is that America can do no wrong, that it stands heads above all other nations, all other cultures. It carries a big stick and it uses it. If you aren’t with us, you are against us. You bend to our will.
American exceptionalism is wrong. It is arrogant. It may win weak alliances but it doesn’t win friends. The “coalition of the willing” is really only the coalition of the fearful.
President Obama has been winning friendships around the world by respecting other nations and their customs, not by being an arrogant ass. He recently achieved a milestone climate agreement with China, a major rising player in the world economy – a nation that doesn’t have to agree to anything. Mr. Obama also recently broached a new relationship with Cuba, once America’s nearest enemy and the target of continual conservative venom. And most recently, Mr. Obama thrilled the people of India by participating in their colorful celebrations, honoring their great former leader, Gandhi, and respecting their people – in the process, reaching agreements on fighting terror and working on climate change.
You need to get tough with a few, but not nearly everyone
Certainly there are times when you have to get tough with an opponent, and President Obama has done that. For instance, he has marshalled international sanctions against Russia for their invasions of Chechnya and attacks against Ukraine. And he has acted decisively against terrorism, such as in Syria and Iraq, again uniting international forces in military action against ISIS/ISIL.
But it is in respecting others that you most often gain their respect, not in showing arrogance and abuse.
The Obamas got it right
There is nothing wrong with the Obamas honoring the customs of the Saudis or any other nation or culture they visit. It wins back the respect of those world leaders and their people. And that’s how you get their trust and cooperation, especially when you need it most.
The greatest weakness isn’t in disposing yourself to the customs and cultures of others but in failing to. The greatest strength isn’t in showing yourself to be bigger and more powerful but in being dignified enough to accept others as equals and not fearing them for being different.
A lot of the criticism of the Obamas, I suspect, isn’t because anyone really thinks they have done something wrong but because it is easier to invent fault than it is to admit you admire them for their agility and flexibility and smarts. The Obamas have all three.
As progressives, we are most open to other cultures and customs. It isn’t that we necessarily have to adopt those cultures and customs, but we do need to respect them and appreciate people for who they are. In my life, I have found that’s the best way to make friends and allies. Being arrogant and abusive of others is the best way to make enemies.
Progressive Times 